I’m a white man and I’m afraid of the police

I’m a white man and I’m afraid of the police. Not because I’m been specifically targeted like people from multiple minorities, but because of the arbitrary I’ve learned they’re using to conduct their job.

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How to force-close a fullscreen program on Windows 10

When fullscreen applications crash on Windows 10, sometimes it isn’t enough to open the Task Manager with a keyboard shortcut, it will show behind the fullscreen still and be unusable. But using the multi-desktop feature can get rid of the invading still picture to use the Task Manager freely.

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What makes the Fediverse better than Twitter

I read a Fediverse post simply stating that what makes Twitter bad is the people on Twitter. I do not believe in this oversimplification, even if I believe the Fediverse is a better place than Twitter. But it isn’t because of any people’s quality criterion, rather about general policy and empowering users and admins.

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Love letter to Euro Truck Simulator 2 from confinement

Euro Truck Simulator 2 hides a real game under a deceivingly austere look. I fell for it for contextual reasons, but I stayed with it for its qualities.

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Project Hospital: 20 years later, finally a worthy successor to Theme Hospital

Project Hospital, released in 2018, finally tackles the herculean task to succeed to Theme Hospital in the niche genre of video game hospital management simulation. The secret? Going their own way instead of copying the original.

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Fate of the Elder Gods board game review

In a role reversal, Fate of the Elder Gods offer players the chance to play in a Lovecraftian universe as a cult leader instead of the traditional investigators. Unfortunately, keeping the traditional serious tone of the genre even after the role reversal makes it a little tone-deaf for me.

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This is it

I realized a couple days ago that this is it, I reached the point in my life I’m been aching for all my life. I’ve been feeling older than my peers at all previous stages of my life, but not anymore. I’ve been believing I’ve been the best version of me that’s ever been for the past 30 years or so, and this trend is coming to an end.

Oh it isn’t perfect, I’m currently paying for mistakes I made earlier in my life, borne out of an expected lack of experience, but even honoring my responsibilities feels like an integral part of the situation I’ve striven for. I’m finally having adult relationships with people who fully know themselves and aren’t cripplingly afraid of disclosing their weaknesses they know they won’t be able to fully change ever, not for anyone, not even for themselves.

Up to this point I’ve lived with the hope, that tomorrow would be better than today which usually has been better than yesterday, and lately I’ve been struggling to find an alternative as it logically faded. Especially as the dread of the expected decline, mental and physical, is naturally creeping its way in.

Now that I feel I reached “peak me”, how many “good years” do I still have in me?