This is it

I realized a couple days ago that this is it, I reached the point in my life I’m been aching for all my life. I’ve been feeling older than my peers at all previous stages of my life, but not anymore. I’ve been believing I’ve been the best version of me that’s ever been for the past 30 years or so, and this trend is coming to an end.

Oh it isn’t perfect, I’m currently paying for mistakes I made earlier in my life, borne out of an expected lack of experience, but even honoring my responsibilities feels like an integral part of the situation I’ve striven for. I’m finally having adult relationships with people who fully know themselves and aren’t cripplingly afraid of disclosing their weaknesses they know they won’t be able to fully change ever, not for anyone, not even for themselves.

Up to this point I’ve lived with the hope, that tomorrow would be better than today which usually has been better than yesterday, and lately I’ve been struggling to find an alternative as it logically faded. Especially as the dread of the expected decline, mental and physical, is naturally creeping its way in.

Now that I feel I reached “peak me”, how many “good years” do I still have in me?

Thoughts on Occidental individualism

The American and French coverage of the 2019 Hong-Kong protests fawning over the protesters’ ingenuity and solidarity reminds me that I loathe when Occidentals (it’s always Occidentals) praise Asians (it’s always Asians) for examples of efficiency (clean subways, on-time trains, public apologies, etc…) without addressing the massive cultural difference that enables this efficiency: a focus on community rather than individuality.

But this isn’t magic or free, I expect this focus to come at certain personal costs that Occidentals don’t otherwise have to bear. This is why individualism is easy to sell: everyone can see the benefits for themselves and easily overlook the fuzzy incurred costs for the community.

Initially published on Friendica:

“The Devil’s Advocate” is a movie conservative as Hell

The Devil’s Advocate uses Christian mythological images to convey very conservative opinions that must have been way less conspicuous when it was released 21 years ago in 1997.

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The Master of Orion reboot has all the classic flaws of recent 4X games

I bought Master of Orion: Conquer the Stars (2016) in a recent deal that included the 3 original games in the franchise started in 1993. After pulling an all-nighter on it, it feels like an old game: unreadable fights, tedious planet management with a stupid autobuild feature.

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RBG, a bittersweet documentary

RBG is a well-made documentary about an extraordinary woman who still fights for women’s rights to this day, and her matching and supporting husband of lesser fame but no lesser merit. Unfortunately the current US political landscape tainted my reception of this movie without having to do with its quality.

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Encrypting private data in a social network web app

Enforcing user’s privacy from their decentralized social network node admin isn’t an easy task. I explore two potential solutions, the compromising lightweight “Paranoid Mode” and the full-featured “Third-party client”.

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